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The Cabin In The Woods

Movie Review

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What's The True Meaning Of The Movie The Cabin In The Woods?

Storyline-Five teenagers head off for a weekend at a secluded cabin in the woods. They arrive to find they are quite isolated with no means of communicating with the outside world. When the cellar door flings itself open, they of course go down to investigate. They find an odd assortment of relics and curios, but when one of the women, Dana, reads from a book, she awakens a family of deadly zombie killers. However, there's far more going on than meets the eye.


Gary Sitterson and Steve Hadley are in a breakroom getting coffee talking about Hadley's domestic issues. Wendy Lin arrives and tells them Stockholm failed and now it's just them and Japan who are left to do the job. Sitterson and Hadley remain complacent, stating that Japan is number one and has never failed, while they are number two since they always try hard. They leave for the control room.

Passing Harbinger

As Dana Polk packs for a trip, she finds a sketch of a professor she had been seeing. It is implied from her conversation with her friend Jules Louden that Dana had recently dated and slept with her college professor, who later broke up with her via email. Jules' boyfriend Curt Vaughan introduces Dana to Holden McCrea, one of Curt's teammates on the football team. They wait for Marty Mikalski to arrive and they in their RV to Curt's cousin's cabin in the woods.

Before they reach the cabin, they pull over at an old gas station, where they meet Mordecai. Mordecai tells them that they'll have enough gas to get to the cabin, "but getting back, that's your concern.". When Mordecai mentions that he has been living there since the end of the war and rudely scolds Jules when she asks which one, Marty snidely implies that it was the civil war. Mordecai insults Jules by calling her a whore and Curt throws money at him and they leave, but not before Marty pulls an insult on Mordecai.

Entering the Cabin

The group drives through an enclosed mountain tunnel that serves as the only entrance and exit to the woods surrounding the cabin.  Once they enter the tunnel, a hawk is seen, unbeknownst to the group, gliding across the chasm that separates the two tunnel openings.  As the camera follows the flying hawk, it collides into what appears to be an invisible, electrified wall.  The hawk tumbles down the seemingly bottomless chasm and out of sight before the group emerges from the tunnel, and they continue.


The group finds the cabin, and begin to unpack in separate rooms. In Holden's room, he removes a disturbing painting to finds a one-way mirror into Dana's room. After he tells Dana, they decide to switch rooms, and the group prepares to begin their summer vacation.

Choosing the Monster

Mordecai calls the Organization to give a deep monologue about being serious with the job, only to be laughed at by Sitterson and Hadley. Lin tells them that the Chemistry Department is prepared and had even managed to plant chemicals in Jules' hair dye to make her sexually active. Organization employees gather in The Facility Control Room for a wagering pool on which monster(s) will be selected. Sitterson takes bets and teases Hadley for betting on the Merman, which Hadley really wants to see, but is an apparently unlikely scenario.

In the cabin, night has fallen and personality changes began to develop in the group as they play Truth or Dare. A cellar door pops open mysteriously (remote-controlled by the underground technicians), revealing a cellar where the group find various strange artifacts. Ignoring Marty's suggestion to go back upstairs, they investigate the different items. Curt nearly blows a conch shell, but puts it down. An intense scene plays wherein everyone begins fiddling with different objects: Curt plays with a puzzle ball, Holden operates a jewelry box with a dancing ballerina, Jules removes a necklace from a bridal gown and plans to wear it, and Marty begins looking through an old film strip. They all stop, however, when Dana calls them over to read from a diary of one of the members of The Buckner Family, the cabin's supposed original owners. They come across a Latin incantation at the bottom. Nobody but Marty notices a disembodied whisper urging them to "read it out loud." Despite Marty's objections, Dana reads the Latin aloud and thus unwittingly summons the zombified Buckners from a nearby grave.

The Death of Jules

Affected by mood-altering drugs applied by the underground technicians, Curt and Jules go off into the woods and begin to undress. The underground technicians focus intently on the exposure of Jules' breasts, raucously at first but later soberly observing that her disrobing for the audience is an essential part of the ritual. "Gotta keep the customer satisfied."

Curt and Jules hesitate to have sex, however the technician released a pheromone fog and successfully induced them to have sex. As Curt and Jules are reaching orgasm, the Buckner Family attacks. They stab Jules' hand and wound Curt in the shoulder. They hold Curt and make him watch as Mother Buckner cuts Jules' throat (and eventually beheads her) with a rusty saw.

Meanwhile, in The Facility, Hadley and Sitterson mark her passing with a prayer: "This we offer in humility and fear, for the blessed peace of your eternal slumber, as it ever was."

If you would like to contribute to the show send anything you want me to open on air, send it to Eric Wood at

PO BOX 98191 Seattle, WA 98198-0191


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